


Between a Rock and the Darkness

by morganaDW (morgana07)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Big Brother Dean, Blow Jobs, Bottom Sam, Brother Feels, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, Protective Dean Winchester, Schmoop, Spoilers, Tags May Change, Top Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-24
Packaged: 2018-05-02 19:01:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5260070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morgana07/pseuds/morganaDW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the brothers try and fail to defeat Amara, Sam finds himself in a very dangerous position and it’s soon up to Dean to find a way to be the rock he’s always been for Sam as he must counter jealousy and dark power. Then it’s a matter of convincing Sam that he’ll be there when secrets are revealed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Language, explicit content as this will eventually contain Wincest.
> 
> Spoilers: Yeah, probably some as it’s set after 11x06 Our Little World
> 
> Tags: While not directly tagged, it does take place after the events of 11x06 Our Little World
> 
> Disclaimer: Nope, I don’t own anything.
> 
> Author Note: Yes, it’s been a really long time so I’ll say now the muse is rusty. Be gentle. It’s 3 chapters (with 2/3 complete) so it’ll be updated quickly.

**Between a Rock and the Darkness**

**Chapter One**

“Seriously? You’re giving me an attitude for getting overpowered by God’s bratty little sister after you let Metamoron, the asshole who not only kicked the angels out of Heaven but caused Kevin’s death, caused the angel I thought could help Sam to turn on us and oh yeah, killed me, to go free because he’s human! Seriously?”

Sam Winchester’s head was aching for a lot of reasons right then, the least of which was taking on Crowley’s demons by himself and then being tossed around by a teenager with a lot more power than anyone liked, but between this latest vision and the increasing shouts coming from behind him as his older brother argued with their angel ally the hunter was sure it was going to pound off his shoulders soon.

Learning that Amara, or the Darkness or whatever the hell she was, was actually God’s sister had been a huge shock to both Winchesters after they’d returned to the bunker and learned of Castiel’s trip to find Metatron as well as what the former scribe of God had finally revealed.

They’d known by what Death had told Dean that the Darkness was supposed to be a big bad thing that God and his most powerful Archangels had locked up before the Creation of mankind. They didn’t know and maybe not even Death had known that to create the world and man that God had supposedly had to betray his only kin; his sister…the sister that was now currently a snotty teenager with a hell of a lot of power and one that was on the loose in the world.

“Y’know, I’m not sure even the Men of Letters lore will have anything on her,” he called back over his shoulder as he leaned against a shelf of books in the hopes of regaining his breath after the last vision, a vision that showed him something he’d hoped never to see or even think about again, had left him not only weak but sick to his stomach. Sam also hoped if he distracted Dean that he’d lower his damn voice so it stopped echoing.

“Probably not as God’s sister but they still might have something on the Darkness that he locked up.” Dean shot another glare at Castiel before shifting to look to where he saw Sam was leaning, a little too heavily for the big brother side of him, on the bookcase. “She’s got power enough now that she almost took Crowley down so we seriously do not want or need her ‘growing up’ anymore. If Metatron doesn’t know anything about how to take her down then maybe the lore might hint at someone else who would; someone who maybe kept notes.”

“Archangels didn’t keep notes and the only ones who might know anything would be two that no one wants to see let loose upon this world again.” Castiel spoke up grimly. “Other than God himself, only Michael and Lucifer would know anything of value and…”

“And other than those two probably still hating me and Sam for ruining their whole Apocalypse plans, I really don’t think I want to consider how we’d even have a conversation with either since they’re still locked inside the damn Cage.” Dean shot back while already deciding he’d rather take on Amara solo than have to risk letting either of those guys back out, especially the one who could still be a huge danger to his little brother.

There was a lot of things that Dean Winchester might be willing to risk in order to save the world…again…but no matter what anyone or anything said or did the one thing that was not included in that equation was Sam.

The hunter inside Dean accepted that they were in way over their heads this time. He also accepted the blame for letting the Darkness out in the first place. Dean would not blame Sam regardless of if his younger brother did blame himself because doing reckless things was just part of being them it seemed.

However, Dean knew there were things he should tell Sam that he knew about Amara, things that happened inside that room before it all went to hell but he just wasn’t sure how.

Sam wanted to go back to how things were in the beginning. He wanted to go back to helping save people instead of acting first and considering the consequences later. Dean understood that and he supposed his brother had good points. He just wasn’t sure if it would be all that simple, especially now.

They had a witch in the wind and Rowena was a wildcard that Dean did not want to think on. They had Crowley ruling Hell and the hunter suspected that now that he’d lost Amara, now that he’d been shown he might not be as all powerful as the little former Crossroads demon had thought he was that the danger from that side of the coin might pick up…especially given that Crowley probably suspected there was more between Dean and Amara than met the eye.

Then there were the unruly featherheads in Heaven to consider that made Dean wish for the damn easier times when they hadn’t known about Heaven, Hell or angels and demons because in so many ways the hunter trusted demons more than he did angels and that was scary.

Keeping an eye on Sam, Dean tuned the complaining Angel out to focus on what he knew had happened back at the asylum with Amara, what he’d seen and finally what the hell he should do about any of it.

Dean hadn’t fully told Sam about his first meeting with Amara when the Darkness was first let out. He hadn’t told him because he wanted to keep it a secret but because a part of him wasn’t sure if it had been real. Even when he began to realize that maybe he hadn’t imagined it, when it clicked that the baby they’d rescued either had been taken over by the power of Amara to give her a vessel in this world or something else the hunter hadn’t revealed to his brother what had been said.

Seeing her in that room, seeing her take out Crowley with barely any effort and realizing with sickening horror that she’d done it at first to protect him or keep him from being killed told Dean that maybe when Amara had said they were bonded, that they would help each other, might be true left Dean confused. It also left him concerned.

At first Dean had decided he hadn’t tried to kill her because in form Amara was just a teenage girl and despite everything else that he’d become or that he’d done these past years it was still an issue for Dean to kill kids…even if they might be or become world eating monsters.

It had actually creeped him out a little when she’d touched his face as well as when it started to sink in some of what she was saying but then Dean had other things to worry about because that was when Sam had finally broken in and Amara had turned that power on his brother; that was when something inside him had snapped and Dean had reacted with full intent to hurt her before she could hurt Sam. Not that it worked out well.

He’d seen the brief look of shock reflected on her face a moment before she flicked a hand and sent Dean crashing to the floor. Dean had had a brief second to fear for both of their lives as consciousness wavered before literal darkness came to him.

Dean thought he’d seen Amara pause to look at Sam’s prone form and say something but now the hunter wasn’t sure and he wasn’t quite sure how to ask his brother without opening up a can of worms that he might not be able to close again.

There were a lot of things he and Sam needed to talk about lately that they hadn’t but it wasn’t like they’d had much time considering things. Now as Dean watched his brother shake his head as if clearing it and noticed how he was favoring one side he decided it might be time to not only handle a couple of those things but also see how bad Sam might be hurt from earlier as well.

“Hey!” he called while giving a ‘shut up’ glare to Castiel to stop him from continuing to ask questions. “New plan. Forget the lore for tonight. Let’s just get some sleep and hit this fresh in the morning…or afternoon or whenever we wake up.”

Sam shook off the leftover unease from the vision that had just hit him to smile a little shakily at the unspoken suggestion in what might sound like a simple matter of catching up on sleep. Except he knew his brother and knew by the change in tone what Dean was saying and like always when Dean made the suggestion or hinted at something more than brotherly Sam felt something stir inside him.

“I thought you wanted to find a way to stop Amara?” he asked while starting to turn to see that Dean was already telling Castiel to go away, watch more Jenny Jones but leave them alone at the risk on angel banishment. “Dean…”

“Yeah, I know but now I want something else,” Dean smirked with a curve of his lips that offered the slow, sexy smile that Sam had loved to see even before they’d crossed the last line between them years earlier that took them from brothers to something much more. “And I figure once I see how bad you’re hurt since I see you’re favoring that one arm and shoulder again we’ll see about just what else you and I can get into tonight. We’ll focus on Amara and stopping her…tomorrow.”

Sam winced at the mention of his sore shoulder but knew he shouldn’t have been surprised that Dean had caught him favoring it since very little escaped his brother’s notice; especially not when the big brother side of Dean came out like Sam was noticing it doing more the past few weeks.

“It’s just sore from fighting demons and getting tossed. It’ll be fine once I take a shower,” Sam replied with a shrug but stepped away from the shelf just as he caught the wicked glint that crossed Dean’s face and told him that he might not be showering alone. “Dean, we’re not alone here,” he decided to remind his brother since normally they didn’t do anything except maybe share a bed unless they were alone.

“Cas can get lost on Netflix or something.” Dean returned, no longer interested in looking for lore or even the bottle of whiskey on the table as he watched Sam’s slowly move away from the books and slightly closer to him. “Besides I’m pretty sure the Angel patrol knows what we’ve been doing so hearing us have sex shouldn’t scar him,” he shot a smirk over his shoulder before looking back at his brother. “Besides, he’s been watching TV and half that is worse than what we’d do tonight.”

Sam blinked and wondered if he’d ever stop feeling like blushing at the intensity in which Dean could look at him at times or the things his brother could say without even thinking too hard. He was about to reply when a sudden buzzing in the back of his skull took him off guard and he had to reach out to grab onto something close to steady himself. “Whoa, okay that was weird.”

“Sammy?” Dean had just turned from shooting Castiel a final warning look that told the angel to go lose himself elsewhere in the bunker when he saw Sam’s face pale a moment before he stumbled against a nearby chair. “Sam? What’s wrong?” he asked and started to move only to feel a sudden wash of power hit him a second before he watched his brother’s body drop lifelessly to the floor. “Sammy!”

Sharp stabbing ice cold pain had hit Sam as he’d been trying to focus his eyes on Dean when he heard his brother’s deep voice go sharp with worry a moment for everything seemed to go black for the younger Winchester.

“Dean!” Sam thought he might have shouted for his brother but he wasn’t sure as he suddenly seemed to be surrounded in thick, almost suffocating darkness. “Dean!”

“Dean can’t hear you, Sam. In fact, where we are Dean can’t even begin to reach if he could hear you call for him. I wanted this to be between you and me.”

As the thick inky blackness began to slowly fade and Sam’s vision cleared he quickly began to realize he was in trouble and that was before he found the soft female voice that had spoken. “Amara.”

There was no doubt in Sam’s mind that the dark haired teenage girl standing a few feet away from him was the same one he’d seen in that room a second before she’d thrown him back with barely a wave of a slender hand.

Amara’s true form might be older in time, older than what this current form was which would mean her true power would be different but there was something else, something the hunter couldn’t quite place, that he thought he’d sensed in the bedroom a moment before he’d gone flying back out and into the door across the hall.

“You know who I am then,” she seemed impressed by that but she also seemed more interested in Sam himself than what he knew about her. “Do you know why I’ve brought you here, Sam?”

Sam didn’t but he’d been taught by the best and knew not to give too much away except it was plain by the coy smile she gave that whoever, whatever this was could read his thoughts. “Since I guess it’s not to give the usual bad guy speech about taking over the world, feel free to tell me what you want with me and…where here is,” he decided to cut to the chase since while Sam could feel his body a quick attempt to move back or in any direction to put more space between them told him he was trapped by Amara’s power.

“Here is the depth of my current power, here is the Darkness or so I hear it’s called now. You’d call it a mindscape but since in this form and with this power I can’t quite breech that little hole you and Dean retreated to and I wanted a closer look at you I felt bringing your mind here would work for now.” Amara’s dark eyes looked the hunter over slowly but with an intensity that made Sam feel uncomfortable. “And I don’t plan to take over the world. I just plan to…fix it once I’ve settled some old scores.”

That didn’t make Sam feel any better. In fact, the simple way she said it made speaking with Lucifer about setting off the Apocalypse more comforting. “Starting with…us?” he wasn’t sure if he and Dean were even on this teenager’s radar as far as threats given his brother had said she’d gone full power on power with the King of Hell.

“Crowley has power that is impressive to you mortals and maybe his own demons but he’s hardly in the sphere of my full power range once I come into it.” Amara said only to stop to stare at Sam as if something unexpected had caught her attention. “You’re his brother?” she asked, taking several steps closer to peer up into Sam’s face. “Dean’s your brother?”

Sam considered not answering until a sharp stabbing pain went thru his body and only being held by Amara’s power kept him from dropping to his knees. “Yes!” he managed to get out past clenched teeth, gasping as the pain eased back but a look on her face told him this wasn’t news she cared for. “This isn’t real so why not tell me what you want with me? Or why being Dean’s brother matters to ugh!”

“I supposed I shouldn’t be surprised that he chose you if you’re his brother but there’s something more to it than just sharing a biological connection that made Dean snap out of my spell, forget the link that has connected us since I was freed.” Amara mused while a wave of power had knocked Sam’s head back with a blow hard enough to draw blood from his mouth.

From the moment the door to her bedroom back in the asylum had broken down and she’d seen as well as felt Dean’s emotions change Amara had been intrigued by the tall long haired young man who’d entered. It had then shocked her when Dean had tried to attack her after she’d tossed the new arrival out of the room because she hadn’t believed the hunter would do that because of the link.

She’d picked up his name from Dean’s thoughts earlier along with a much deeper sense of emotion for him than she’d ever felt since returning to the world. Throwing Dean had been a matter of protection as well as teenage anger at being spurned for another or so Amara was coming to realize. She wanted to see Sam up close; she wanted to discover what it was about him that had made Dean react so strongly.

“What…link?” Sam asked tightly while trying to struggle against the increasing strength of the mist that he could now feel wrapping tighter around him, pinning his arms to his sides.

“Since the key to my prison was on your brother’s arm, when it was removed and I was freed it somehow linked us.” Amara replied with a slow smile as she watched that realization cross the struggling hunter’s face. “Like I told Dean that first day we’ll always be linked. That’s why he couldn’t kill me at first I think but it seems I might have under estimated how deep his feelings for you run,” she frowned, lips pursing much like a teenager who hadn’t gotten her way. “He chose you over me back there. It angered him when I hurt you and he tried to hurt me! I saved him when Crowley was going to kill him and he actually tried to hurt me because I threw you out of my bedroom!”

Sam had been busy splitting his focus between not freaking out over the feel of the dark energy tightening to the point that it started to bring back darker memories of the last time he’d faced even a portion of power like this and realizing Dean hadn’t bothered to tell him a hell of a lot of what must have happened when he’d disappeared out of the Impala that day.

He’d always suspected there was more to the story than Dean had said but had been willing to wait for his brother to talk on his own. Sam had just been relieved they’d lived through it and weren’t actually fighting every step of the way like they had been in more recent times. He hadn’t wanted to risk what he viewed as a fragile peace over what might have been nothing.

Now as he heard Amara talk Sam guessed he should’ve pushed a little because Dean having any kind of link to her or the Darkness could be bad for them in the long run.

The hunter was just about to try to speak when suddenly another burst of icy agony shot up his body from his legs to his head and he couldn’t help the scream of pain that came. It was similar to the burning fire he’d felt in the Cage but this time, this pain, had an icy dark cold feel to it that almost felt like it was digging under his skin and raking over his exposed nerves.

When Sam had first realized where he was or what was happening he’d thought Amara might just want to know more about Dean since he’d had a brief moment to catch some unusual vibes in that room, or about things such as what they knew or even where the hell God might be hiding out since he had a bad hunch that was who she had a score to settle with.

Now as the pain slowly ebbed back to barely tolerable and he could breathe again the tone in which the young girl was speaking sank in and Sam had to fight back his initial response since he guessed that could very easily have his brain fried; which in turn would end up with him dead and he wasn’t that eager to see if that Reaper had been correct so he struggled to calm down, to not panic and hope Dean had some idea what might be happening even if he couldn’t help him.

“What…what do you want from this, Amara?” he finally was able to ask since getting words out past the still burning pain and the tight constriction around him as the damn power continued to hold him. “What’s this really about? Why was seeing me so important?”

“He chose you over me!” Amara snapped back and Sam swore she’d almost stomped her foot like a spoiled child who wasn’t getting her way. “He was the first thing I saw upon being freed. We share a bond that’s supposed to mean something! I told him that I’d always know where he was and I do but he’s not supposed to try to stab me just because I threw you out of the room or would’ve killed you in a blink or…I could take your soul.”

The last threat froze Sam more than even the pain he was in. He could still vividly recall the time without his soul and seeing Len back in Fall River had reminded him of just how uncaring, how cold, how dangerous he’d been during that time. Even the thought of losing his soul, especially to help feed Amara, scared him almost as much as the thought of his most recent visions did.

“Oh, I can’t take it here of course. I need to physically touch you to be able to do that but it is something to consider,” she tapped her finger against her lips as if mulling the thought over before stepping closer just as a wave of power gave a hard jerk to take Sam to his knees. “There were pieces of Dean’s mind that were closed to me before and now I see that those pieces must have been where he hid you.”

Amara stared down into Sam’s face with a hardness that truly startled the hunter. The hate there was chilling but so was the power Sam could feel when she suddenly grabbed a handful of his thick hair to use it when she yanked his head back.

“I can see in your thoughts that you’re brothers. I see that he’s your older brother and I can see the things you’ve done for him and him for you but there’s more to it than just. There’s more to why he’d be able to break my hold on him for you. What is it?” Amara leaned closer to peer into Sam’s eyes, fingers tightening her grip to keep his head still when he tried to jerk it free while catching his face with her other hand. “Tell me!”

“No,” Sam gritted, knowing there’d be pain or worse to come but he refused to give what was so clearly a spoiled child anymore information; especially not about that. “You’re…supposed to be this ancient and old power and you’re…acting like a jealous teenager when her boyfriend looks at another girl. Dean is not your boyfriend, Amara. He’s…argh!”

Burning and searing pain shot through Sam’s chest just as sharp nails dug into his jaw when Amara’s fingers tightened there and in his hair. The hunter could feel the cold dark mist holding him tighter until he feared bones might break but then the feel of fingers of another type began to touch his face and with a sudden sick lurch of his stomach Sam knew what was happening.

“No! Don’t! Stay out of my head! Stay out of…” Sam could feel the slick swipe of power touching, digging deeper into his mind as Amara smiled sweetly as his attempts to struggle against the power she had.

“I can’t take your soul here but I can dig into it along with your mind to see just what it is that makes you so special to Dean, what it is that made him react so strongly when I hurt you.” Amara said while applying more power to the intrusive mental invasion that took her deep into Sam’s mind to see things both good and bad that the hunter tried to keep buried against the probing.

Sam could see the memories coming up, he could feel the emotions that went with them and knew he couldn’t fight this power. He knew if he did the odds were good any chance he had of coming out of this with his mind intact would be gone but when the nosy teenager began digging deeper, when she began to pull out memories not only of him and Dean but the darker memories that Sam still tried to fight from remembering he fought on instinct until he felt something deep inside his chest crack and the agony this time caused his trapped body to spasm before blackness once again began to pull him under.

As the burning pain increased and more memories were pulled out by Amara all Sam could do was pray that no matter what happened now that Dean stayed safe and he didn’t fall victim to this girl or her very clear obsessive desires.

\----

“What the goddamn hell is going on?” Dean Winchester had passed panicked 40 minutes ago when his younger brother collapsed to the library floor only to start convulsing a moment later. “Cas! Either do something or tell me what the hell is happening to him!”

Castiel had been as shocked as Dean when Sam dropped to the floor. At first the angel had suspected it might have something to do with any injuries the younger Winchester had suffered back at the asylum so he’d immediately tried to touch Sam to heal him. The moment he laid his hand on a barely moving chest however he knew Sam’s situation was much more serious.

“Sam didn’t collapse because of any injuries he sustained earlier. He’s being attacked mentally, Dean,” he said to the swearing hunter. “The power I can feel is immense. It’s unlike any that I’ve ever felt before. Not even from Michael or Lucifer did I feel this type of energy. Whoever, whatever this is can kill Sam by destroying his mind and…I fear that might be what’s happening.”

“Damn it!” Dean was on his knees beside Sam like he’d been from the first moment he’d gotten to his brother earlier.

At first, he’d thought that perhaps it had been just exhaustion and injuries since Sam had taken a good couple hits by the soulless babysitter even before they’d gone into the asylum but when Sam’s body began to jerk more as if his brother was struggling against something or someone, when his mouth and nose started to bleed and then when he screamed in agony a second before it seemed like his whole body convulsed violently Dean feared it was much more and much worse.

Then he’d felt how cold Sam’s body was once he’d gotten him into his arms to try to hold him still in the hopes of either waking Sam up or to keep his brother from cracking his skull open on the hard floor and just that cold as well as something in the air around them that was making every hair on the back of Dean’s neck stand up told the hunter not only what was happening but who was doing it.

“It’s Amara. It has to be. Somehow she got past the bunker’s wards and attacked his mind.” Dean was silently kicking himself for not expecting something like this after he’d picked up on her shock at his reaction to her tossing Sam earlier. “How do I get her out of his head before she does serious damage?” he demanded tightly while catching and holding onto a clenching fist in the hopes that maybe some physical contact might help right then.

“What makes you think it’s Amara?” Castiel was frowning more as he watched Dean try to keep Sam still when another violent convulsion hit and he could feel the power growing darker even before he inwardly cringed when he sensed one of Sam’s ribs crack under some form of invisible power that was attacking him elsewhere. “Dean? You need to tell me what happened back at that place.”

“What happened back there is not an issue. Getting me into Sam’s head so I can knock that bratty teenager out of it is so tell me how to do that, Cas!” Dean snapped and then blew out a hard breath when the angel merely continued to stare at him. “Fine. She stopped Crowley from killing me and made the stipulation that she wouldn’t kill him if he allowed me safe passage out of there.”

The angel stared in confusion for another moment while digesting this news. “Why would she do that?” he asked; not understanding a great deal of what this pre-biblical entity was doing much less why but this made no sense to him. “For that matter, why didn’t she kill you after she was released?”

Dean scowled for a moment. He did not want to get into this whole spiel right then and especially not with Castiel who still had a bad habit of being a little too dense for everyone’s own good. He knew that he had to tell Sam everything that he knew or that had happened in that brief time and would…as soon as he got his brother back.

Right then however it was clear to him that he wasn’t going to get the angel to do anything unless he answered him. “She said when I first saw her that we were linked in some way. This time she said that I was the first thing she saw and that she knew I wouldn’t be able to kill her,” Dean frowned as he considered it more, recalling Amara’s words back in the room as well as when he’d first seen her and slowly he began to get an icy feeling. “There’s something…not right, Cas.”

“There are several things not right, Dean,” Castiel returned grimly.

Dean shot him a dark look of frustration. “No, I mean…I don’t know what I mean! It’s like whenever I’m close to her, when she talks to me…I know what I should do. I knew there that I should try and use the knife but I couldn’t…until she threw Sam out of the room and then it was like a switch was thrown. I saw him hit the door across the hall and I reacted,” he glanced down while gritting his teeth as Sam’s body arched up as if in pain a moment before his brother screamed. “Sam! Damn it, Cas! I need to do something or you need to do something. Amara’s got no reason to go after Sam like this!”

“Dean, this power is beyond me.” Castiel knelt down to try to help the hunter hold Sam still as it became obvious the attack was getting worse. “He’s fighting more now than before. Sam’s…she’s invading his memories,” he paused to consider his choice of words while trying to bypass the power to get a glimpse of what was happening to Sam only to frown more. “She’s ripping his mind apart as if peeling a piece of fruit. He’s fighting because in doing this she’s forcing him to relive both the dark and good things but Sam’s trying to keep her from what she wants most and that’s…you.”

“ _Sonuvabitch_!” Dean had hoped that wasn’t the case. He’d hoped he’d misread the girl’s words or the way she looked at him earlier when she touched him. “She’s looking to see why Sam’s important to me. She was confused earlier after I tried to attack her when she threw him. It was then that she tossed me.”

“She attacked you, overpowered you as you said after you tried to attack her when she hurt Sam?” Castiel considered this as well as Dean’s other comments. “You said before Sam entered that you knew you should attack her but couldn’t,” he frowned while thinking about the meaning behind this. “This…link Amara said you share could be due to you being the wearer of the Mark of Cain. You were the last one to bear the Mark so in essence you unlocked her prison when it was removed. She might look at you like…oh…this isn’t good.”

“Yeah, I figured that out when she suddenly decided to rape my little brother’s mind!” Dean grabbed Sam’s other hand before pressing them both under his own against his brother’s heaving chest. “Fine! You can’t get in there to help him then get me in!” he snapped.

Dean was fighting both panic and fury right then. Panic at the way Sam was thrashing in his arms as well as the shouts and cries being heard. The fury was at himself for being so stupid to have not seen this coming that moment Amara felt that whatever hold she thought she had on him might be weakened by someone else.

It was also aimed at Castiel for being unable to help Sam but right then as Sam’s nose began to bleed and his voice cut off with a choked cry of Dean’s name the fury was suddenly aimed at Amara and with that realization Dean knew what had to be done.

“When Gadreel needed Sam convinced to not cross over with Death, he somehow got me into Sammy’s head briefly.” Dean hated those memories because he still felt the guilt over what that mess had caused but right then he knew he had more important things to focus on as he looked over at a grim faced Castiel. “Get me inside Sam’s head or wherever she took his mind,” he saw the look of surprise cross the angel’s face and knew objection would soon follow.

“She thinks attacking him mentally means I can’t help him; that I can’t get involved but that’s where she’s wrong. I can’t access Sam’s mind by myself…but you can get me in there or you can at least get me thru the damn front door.” Dean wrapped one arm around Sam’s chest to hold him back against his chest as he sat fully on the library floor while he held one hand tightly to hopefully allow Sam to know he wasn’t alone in this.

“I may or may not have some damn link with her because of that stupid damn mark but there’s someone else that I know I share a much stronger bond with. This is where she finds out the same damn thing every other asshole does when they touch my brother,” he glanced down to see tears on Sam’s cheeks and felt a kind of anger that Dean knew he hadn’t felt in years. “No one touches what is _mine_ without expecting to piss me off and touching Sam like this has just done that. Get me in there!”

Castiel paused with the intent of warning the man that this act might result in both his and Sam’s deaths but the years of knowing both Winchesters, of seeing Dean’s temper and knowing that the hunter had gotten into the face of many others in defense of his brother finally had him nodding.

“Your knife won’t work on a mental plane, Dean,” he warned before reaching out to lightly touch Sam’s jerking head and then moved his other hand to touch Dean. “I’d say be careful but…as Bobby Singer said once where Sam is concerned you don’t understand the meaning of that word so just try not to anger her more.”

Dean wasn’t sure that would be in the plan since to get Sam free or at least stop his mind from being torn to pieces like he feared it was then angering a jealous, spoiled teenage demi-God might just be what he’d have to do.

“Hang on, Sammy,” he whispered as he felt the light touch of fingers and then there was nothing but a rush of power, ice cold wind and a sound that tore at Dean’s heart in a way that he knew nothing and no one else ever could. “Sammy!”

\----

Streaks of memories, flashes of thoughts, of times both good and bad were what Sam Winchester woke back up to. Emotions, sounds, feelings as well as all the memories that went along with every thought that was being pulled from his mind as Amara looked for answers had him struggling to not only break free of her power but to also bury his most private memories.

“No…stop!” he gritted, back arching up as the tendrils of dark energy that surrounded him held him tighter while the teenager’s nails dug into his jaw as she used his hair to keep his head still. “I…get…out of my head! I won’t let you…take…argh!!”

“Crowley couldn’t fight me and he’s the King of Hell, Sam.” Amara easily dug deeper past memories that interested her as she found it amusing that this boy had been supposed to be the vessel for Lucifer and yet had somehow found the strength of will to fight back when her ‘nephew’ had been so close to… “You fought Lucifer to save Dean,” she paused to stare into glassy hazel eyes that were fighting to glare at her but was too dazed from her brutal search. “He controlled you but yet before he could kill your brother you broke his control much like Dean broke free of my spell on him earlier. Why? How? What is the bond you two have that allows you both to do these things for each other.”

“M’brother,” Sam mumbled. He could feel his will draining though and knew the girl had done something to him, had shattered the damage Castiel had healed from Lucifer’s control and feared not only what that might mean but also what she’d see now.

“Yes, I see how much you’ve idolized Dean as that but there’s more to it than a mere sibling bond.” Amara reached up and this time brushed her fingers over Sam’s sweat soaked forehead and felt him shudder at the same time as tears leaked from the corner of his eyes as a sudden burst of hidden memories were pulled to the surface for her to see. “Let me see what makes you so important to him, Sam. Show me why he chose you over me. Show me…”

Stopping in mid-sentence as these new memories, memories and feelings that she knew Sam had struggled to hide from her finally came loose as his mind could no longer resist her will, Amara had to pause to take in what she was seeing, what she could feel from the young man shaking violently despite being held.

“Well this is…unexpected,” she wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting really but this wasn’t it. Since being freed, since being ‘born’ to this modern world and catching up on the computer Crowley had given her, Amara had learned a great deal of things but this, what she was seeing from Sam’s thoughts, what gave him more power over Dean than she thought she had, clearly hadn’t been included.

Dropping her hands to allow Sam’s head to fall back she stared at him with both confusion and surprise. “You and Dean…despite being brothers…despite the moral taboo of such acts or however they tell it in that silly book…” Amara paused to take this news in and ponder how she should feel about it. “Your…”

“Mine and that’s the only goddamn thing you need to know about Sam…bitch.”

**TBC**

 

 

 

           

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Between a Rock and the Darkness**

**Chapter Two**

“Get away from my brother, Amara.” Dean Winchester was pissed and it showed in the deeper, gravelly tone of voice he used as he stood a few feet from where he could see Sam’s shaking body was being held by dark power that the hunter guessed was part of the Darkness or the part that this version of Amara could control.

From the moment he’d pulled himself back together after Castiel had helped him get inside wherever the hell he was, Dean had struggled not to be overwhelmed by thoughts, voices, and emotions that he quickly came to know were Sam’s as he tried to fight the jealous acting teenager.

Dean could feel Sam’s fear as well as his pain but seeing how pale his brother looked now, how shallowly he was breathing as well as how glassy his eyes looked pissed the hunter off even more. Though was truly mad him angry was how stunned the girl actually sounded when the truth of what he and Sam were besides brothers dawned on her.

“Dean. How’d you get in here?” Amara stood to face him, surprised to see him there but also still confused to what she’d seen in Sam’s mind. “Why are you here?”

“You just basically mind raped my brother to get answers that were none of your business.” Dean shot back with a sneer, eyes sliding to try to see Sam but not wanting to risk the girl getting the drop on him here. “If you knew anything about me then you’d know that touching Sam, hurting him in any goddamn way, is the one way to get me in your face,” he stepped closer as anger simmered low in his belly at what he could see had happened to his brother. “Let him go. Heal what you did to him and then let him go. He’s got nothing to do with you or with us.”

“I don’t think that’s true and neither do you,” she glanced back at Sam before looking at Dean. “You broke me hold for him.”

“You could ask Crowley what I’ve done for him.” Dean replied with a shrug. He felt the same low buzzing start to come over him as he’d noticed it would when near Amara or when she spoke to him. Recognizing it though allowed him to shift his thoughts to the one thing that always gave him strength: Sam. “No, not time, babe. You won’t sink your hooks into me like you have been.”

That proved to be and Amara clearly wasn’t happy about it as her face took on a look that was much older than her current form. “I could kill you both with a thought!” she snapped without realizing how much like a spoiled teenager she sounded right then. “I could kill him! I can wait and take his soul back there and…Dean!”

The knife was out and against her throat even before Dean could think of the risk. “Been there, done that and vowed that no one would ever do that to him again,” he growled lowly as the thought of Sam losing his soul chilled Dean to the bone. “I’d rather us both be dead before I let you take that from him, Amara. In fact...if you hurt him, if you try to kill him you’d better kill me now or else I will be your worst enemy.”

Amara stared at him for a long moment before stepping back, almost looking confused by his demeanor. “You let me out. You freed me.”

“That was a result of Sam’s determination to free me from the Mark of Cain’s control actually,” Dean shrugged with a slight not to where Sam still laid, jaw muscle twitching as he took in his brother’s pale face. “Death told me the Mark was actually a key to some prison but I didn’t have time to tell Sammy that until it was too late. A spell that Sam didn’t think would work was cast, I got the shit shocked out of me literally after I killed Death and…you were let out. So if you want to thank anyone for freeing you it should probably be my too stubborn to quit little brother, not me. Now…let Sam go.”

“You…love him,” she watched Dean’s eyes go to Sam again and once again saw the same emotion enter them like she’d seen in her bedroom. “You’re brothers but yet in his thoughts…”

“Thoughts that you had no goddamn right to violate,” Dean shot angrily, furious at the thought of yet someone else screwing with Sam’s mind in any way but hating it more because of what memories Amara had been after. “Yes, we’re brothers and yeah…I love him like that because from the moment he was born I knew in my heart that he was mine,” he glanced down at a small sound before looking back up to meet Amara’s dark eyes fully, the muscle in his jaw twitching like it did when he was seriously angry.

“As for what else we are? What you fucked with his mind to dig up? Yeah, we crossed those lines a long time ago and while I might not say the words to him as often as I should, as often as Sam deserves to hear them…I will say this to you very slowly so you can process it,” he took a deep breath before stepping closer to Amara and making sure to look down so their eyes were locked when he spoke again. “Either as my pain in the ass brother or my lover, I love him.”

A sound like thunder cracked somewhere but Dean refused to break eye contact until he heard a moan of pain and then he shot a quick look toward Sam before setting it once again on the teenager. “Whatever link we may or may not have, whatever you happen to think is between us, whatever ‘crush’ you might think you have on me or think I’m supposed to return let me tell you now that while neither of us are gay and we both might look at a hot chick now and then, Sam is who I love and who I will kill and die for.

“If you think he’s somehow ‘in the way’ or that hurting him like you have or might plan to later on will get you anything from me, think again,” the tone of voice that Dean now spoke with was one that he’d used many times in his life but only with one purpose in mind. “Touching Sammy, hurting him in any goddamn way will only get you a chance to see me at my pissed off best. I have promised to keep him safe, to keep him from being hurt from everything from bullies, to assholes, to demons, to two arrogant asshole Archangels. Telling you to go back where you came from or using what’s left of my life to kill you if he’s hurt now won’t be anything new for me.”

Dean knew he’d passed a line that could very well end with both of them dying as Amara’s dark eyes seemed to flash even darker as she stood glaring at him as if not believing he was speaking to her like that.

“I’m far more than Lucifer or Michael, Dean,” she chose to remind me with just a hint of a smug little smile, lifting a hand to move it toward Sam just as the hunter’s body arched in pain when she gasped in surprise at the strong grip that caught her wrist.

“True, because where they were both basically spoiled brats looking to be Daddy’s number 1 kid, and one was just pissed off that he wasn’t any more you are just a spoiled teenager pissed off that her crush is looking at someone else.” Dean’s eyes hardened into cold green slits even while he could feel the ice cold power seeping into his fingers, refusing to let go. “Amara, I’m not saying we don’t have a link because I know we do. I can feel it. I’m also going to say that if you hurt my brother I will go to my grave looking for a way to not only break that link but put you back in your box.”

The girl looked between the brothers for a long silent moment. “Your bond with him is strong. Your devotion to him, much like his for you, might very well be what allows you both to overcome the odds so often,” Amara finally said before dropping her hand and stepping back from Sam but lifting it again to let it rest on Dean’s face. “I saw in Sam’s thoughts, I see in yours what you’ve both done for this pitiful world, for each other. I see what he’s willing to still do for you and I can see now what you’re willing to risk for him but think on this, Dean,” she stopped to step back fully. “I could give you this world on a platter. I can give you anything you’d want and all you’d have to do is…”

“See there’s always a stipulation with you guys who plan to destroy, take over, change or whatever else there is the world. I’m not a guy who works well with stipulations, babe. Go find a few angels and ask them how well trying to con me into being a vessel worked for Zachariah,” Dean smirked with more confidence than he really felt. “Besides, there’s only one thing in this world that I would want and I already have him. Let Sam go, Amara.”

“You would choose Sam; you would choose what some would see as an immoral relationship over wealth, power, passion and control over all those who have done you harm?” Amara once again looked and sounded confused, watching as Dean slowly backed up until he was close enough to kneel next to his starting to stir brother. “Why?”

Dean wasn’t surprised that she didn’t understand. He seriously doubted if anyone, even people he once considered allies, would ever understand his motives so someone like Amara never would. It had taken him years to understand them himself but now as he placed a gentle hand flat against the center of Sam’s chest much like he had for years when needing to remind his brother that he wasn’t alone or needed to calm him down Dean had no doubts the risks he faced now were worth it.

“Mine,” he said simply, lips curving a little more the moment he felt cold, weak fingers move up to find and wrap around his wrist. “He’s mine, Amara. Anything you or anyone else could offer, all the money, power, influence or even revenge in the world wouldn’t matter to me if I didn’t have Sam in my life as my brother and in my bed as my love.”

Dean moved his other hand up when he saw Sam’s free hand seeking something and realized what it was. Catching it, the hunter held it tightly while watching Amara’s face. “I’m telling you again if you don’t want me as your worst enemy, if you don’t want me to move what’s left of Heaven and Hell to stop you now before you grow into the woman I met first…let my brother go and leave him alone.”

Amara stood still, her face unreadable as she met the hunter’s stare. She could see from the corner of her eye the way Dean’s hand moved in slow circles against Sam’s chest while his other hand had caught and held Sam’s searching one tightly; both were acts she somehow could tell were things Dean was used to doing just like standing up for his brother like he’d just done also wasn’t anything new.

The teenage Amara didn’t understand the confusing feelings she had right then. She also didn’t understand the depth of what was clearly between the Winchesters. She did know that she could easily kill both men and remove the risk of future problems but instead of doing that or harming the one she still considered a block in her path she simply offered a smile and a wave.

“Goodbye, Dean. Goodbye, Sam. We’ll see each other again soon.”

Dean wasn’t sure what that meant but before he could ask or comment it felt like his whole body had been turned inside out at the same time as searing bright light blinded him. The next thing the hunter was aware of was the sound of a choked, strained voice shouting for him and that brought all of Dean’s focus back to where it needed to be. “Sammy!”

Sam had woken up fast and much like he did whenever he woke up fast, confused, and in pain he reacted to the hands he could feel holding his shoulders. “Get away from me! De’n…Dean!”

The memories of Amara’s attack, of feeling her rip into his memories to find out what she’d wanted to know, of reliving those memories and others had put Sam on guard but it was when he’d opened his eyes only to be confronted with flashes of light, of darker memories as if still trapped in that dream place that made him jerk his hands free from where he blearily thought he felt them being held and lashed out blindly at the first solid shadow he saw.

“Don’t touch me! Get…Amara…De’n…!” Sam’s head felt like it would pound off his shoulders as his own voice made it pound worse. He heard his words choke off with an instinctive cry of Dean’s name when suddenly he felt strong arms wrapping around him from behind and wasn’t sure to fight or freeze as he battled memories that still seemed real until finally a voice broke past the noise in Sam’s ears.

“Sammy. Sammy, stop. I’ve got you.” Dean’s voice was low, deep but it served to clear Sam’s head and ears of every other image and sound. “Shhh, that’s it. Calm down and breathe for me, little brother. You’re safe with me in the bunker. Amara’s out of your head and I will do whatever it takes to keep it that way,” he promised while fighting to keep his voice steady despite it wanting to shake as the hunter felt Sam’s body slowly starting to relax back against him. “Just relax now. I’ve got you, baby boy.”

It was the nickname that finally had Sam’s body going limp in Dean’s arms while he tried to slow his breathing and stop his hands from shaking. There were only two nicknames that Sam allowed to be used and both were only allowed to come from Dean.

‘Sammy’ was one he’d grudgingly come to accept and now was how Sam could tell when things were alright between them because when they were fighting or Dean was angry he didn’t use it. The only other nickname was one that was definitely just between the two of them and lately only used when they were alone or being intimate. That one was what Dean had just murmured against his ear and was how Sam knew it was safe to relax.

“What…what happened?” he asked after he’d calmed down enough that he could feel Dean’s one hand rubbing slow, familiar circles against the center of his chest while growling at a confused and concerned Castiel to back off. “That…Amara…was that real?”

Sam had been hoping it wasn’t. He’d hoped it might have been a reaction to his visions or recent injuries except that wouldn’t explain why he was on the floor of the bunker’s library basically in Dean’s lap while his head and body felt like it had been tossed around by a vengeful spirit.

“Yeah, God’s bratty sister threw a teenage jealously tantrum and decided to ransack your head for why I got pissed off after she tossed you.” Dean tried to sound normal but knew when Sam tensed that the barest edge to his voice had been heard. “I’m sorry, Sam. I didn’t think she’d go after you like that or even that she could.”

“We don’t really know what she can do,” Sam replied. He didn’t blame his brother even though he did have some questions about some things he thought he recalled hearing but before he could ask any something else came back to him and he tried to twist just enough to look over his shoulder at Dean. “I heard you or thought I did. Did I?” he asked carefully while moving a hand up only to feel it caught and held.

“I had Cas help me get past the front door so to speak but yeah, you heard me,” Dean told him, carefully shifting enough to help Sam sit up fully but let out a low growl as if in warning when the angel in question stepped a little too close again. “I wasn’t sure if you heard anything since you looked pretty rough when I got there.”

Thinking about what he had heard and what had seemed more like hazy dreams toward the end Sam shuddered once as he recalled having his mind and memories ripped open by Amara. “I…I could hear but…I think I’d fought her so much that when she finally got past my shields and the memories started hitting that I started to close off to protect myself,” he paused, sitting up while resisting the urge to either curl in on himself or cling to his brother when he felt Dean’s fingers gripping his hand still. “I was thinking to myself that I’d rather die than let her open all those wounds back up that Cas healed after the wall fell but then I heard you and…you actually came into my head?”

Dean waited until he was sure it would be safe to try to move before climbing to his feet, reaching down for Sam’s hand to help him stand; steadying him when he saw his brother start to falter a little too much for comfort.

The hunter could tell Castiel wanted to help but once again motioned the angel to hold off. Dean knew from experience that right then Sam wouldn’t want anyone else that close to him, not even an angel. “What did you hear me say to her, Sammy?” Dean asked once he was sure Sam was steady enough to attempt to walk. “We trying for the bedroom or just a chair right now?”

“Umm…shower if I can manage it and then a bed,” Sam was tired. His mind and body felt like just falling into bed and staying there for a day or so but he also still felt her fingers digging into his jaw and through his hair, not to mention his mind, so he wanted a hot shower before he tried to sleep. “I heard you say ‘mine’ a couple times and then I think I heard her basically offer you the world if you didn’t try to stop her or…you let her kill me or suck my soul out though I’m kind of hoping I can avoid that.”

Dean was keeping one hand on Sam’s arm in case he stumbled as he helped him out of the library and into the hall that led to the shower room. He winced when he realized his brother had heard a lot more than he thought he had or wanted him to.

Feeling Sam shake after tensing at the thought of losing his soul to feed Amara however made Dean move his free hand up to let it rest against the back of his brother’s neck, fingers squeezing gently like he would when they were younger and the gesture was the only way to offer silent support.

“She’s not eating your soul or killing you. I think I made that quite plain to the teenage demi-God or whatever the hell she is,” Dean replied with an eye roll while motioning Castiel to leave them alone as he helped Sam into the shower room, sitting him down on one of the benches in the room before reaching in to turn on the hot water. “I think I also made it plain to her that hurting you would be the quickest way to making me her number one enemy and if she wanted that then she should just kill me now because I’d rather be dead than live without you.”

Sam had closed his eyes after sitting down and was rubbing a hand through his hair as if wanting to be sure the damn girl hadn’t left any finger holes in his scalp since he swore he could still feel her there. He pried one open however when he heard what Dean had just said to stare at where his brother was standing a few feet from him after having turned on the water for the shower.

“You…” he stopped to try to replay what he had heard earlier. Sam had grown up knowing that emotions, honest emotions and feelings weren’t expressed by his father or older brother. He was the Winchester who usually wore his heart on his sleeve and still did while Dean buried his emotions behind a wall of sarcasm and lately an ice cold shell that had even gotten between them a time or two.

There were times when Sam knew how Dean felt but wished his brother would express it more or better than he did except Sam would never push for that as Dean just wasn’t comfortable expressing or facing pure emotions like love, happiness, pride, and that was fine with Sam.

He knew how his brother felt or he usually did but to hear Dean openly tell anyone much less their current big bad nemesis that he’d rather die than live without him, that was a shock. A shock that must have showed on his face when Sam saw Dean’s lips curve up into a slow smirk a second before the smirk turned into a softer smile; the smile that Sam knew only he got to see on his brother as Dean moved closer until he was in front of Sam.

“Mine,” Dean said in a tone of voice that was low, deep with the type of emotion that he rarely used or showed unless it was to Sam.

He had seen the look of surprise that crossed his brother’s face at what he said to Amara and Dean knew that he hadn’t really shared his feelings with Sam recently so he guessed he could understand why Sam looked so shocked.

“Mine,” Dean repeated as he moved close enough that he could slowly straddle Sam’s lap, hands framing his brother’s face; thumbs brushing over Sam’s cheeks with a gentleness that made the younger Winchester shudder. “I told Amara that I didn’t tell you this enough and I don’t. I just assume you know but…” he paused to lean in closer, letting his lips graze over a faint bruise Dean had noticed on Sam’s jaw. “I love you, Sammy.”

Hearing those words said in the low, deep, sinfully sexy tone of voice that had been turning him on since he’d been 15 had Sam nearly forgetting how tired and sore he was or how he could still feel the intrusive touch of Amara’s power.

Sam knew Dean loved him. He’d grown up learning all the little ways his brother could show those feelings without actually saying them. It was harder these days but still he knew it.

However as Sam felt warm lips continuing a path down the line of his jaw, back up to his ear and then slowly across his cheek until he finally felt a teasing touch of a tongue against his lips he was reminded that he also enjoyed when Dean showed that love as well.

“Love you too,” he murmured a second before having to remember to breathe as Dean caught his mouth in a kiss that was searing in one moment and then softening in the next second. “Dean…”

“You’re mine in all ways, baby boy,” Dean said in between teasing kisses while slowly, almost reluctantly, easing back to stand up but made sure to bring Sam up with him; arms wrapping around his brother to hold him tightly. “Both as my brother and my lover, you’re mine and no one, not demons, not angels, and sure as hell not God’s bratty sister, will ever change that,” he promised, voice deep and thick with emotions he rarely showed but would for Sam as he felt his brother’s mouth open under his to allow his tongue entrance.

Slowly their kisses heated more as the heat from the shower steamed up the mirrors in the shower room and Dean’s hands worked their way under Sam’s t-shirt, fingertips teasing up his chest but went stopped at the first sign of pain from his brother.

Dean recalled how violently Sam had jerked and convulsed earlier as well as injuries that Castiel had suggested he might have due to Amara’s attack. Thinking on possible broken or cracked ribs made him gentle his touch when his splayed his fingers against Sam’s side and this time heard the soft gasp of pain that Sam tried to cover.

“How bad are you hurt and do you want me to get Cas to heal whatever it is?” he asked but wasn’t surprised when Sam shook his head and pulled away from him. “Sammy? Tell me how bad she hurt you and what the pain level right now is.”

“I’m just mainly sore unless I move wrong or twist suddenly or take a deep breath,” Sam began slowly, wincing as he pulled his shirt over his head and heard the sharp inhale of breath from Dean that told him that he did have more bruises than he’d counted on. “The worst of what she did can’t be healed by Castiel since it’s mainly feelings leftover from the memories she yanked up and the feel of having my head…” he stopped before saying too much but suspected by the hard set of Dean’s jaw that his brother knew what he almost said, absently rubbing his fingers over his head again until Dean caught his hands to hold them loosely in his.

“I hate having my memories ripped apart like that, Dean,” he mumbled, eyes starting to drop only to pull them back up at the feel of Dean’s arms pulling him forward into a hard embrace; an embrace that Sam returned tightly and with a need that he hadn’t realized before he was feeling. “I didn’t want her in my head. I didn’t want her seeing us or what you are to me besides my brother but I…I couldn’t keep her out. It was just like with Lucifer and Michael in the…in the Cage and…damn it! I still feel her rooting around inside my brain and…”

Dean knew by years of big brother instincts what was about to happen so he’d already tightened his arms a second before Sam’s voice suddenly broke and Dean felt long arms wrapping around him tighter as Sam turned his face into his neck.

A hundred useless words ran through Dean’s head along with a few choice ones toward every single asshole who’d ever hurt his brother in any way but right then the hunter knew all he could do was just hold and give Sam the comfort of knowing he wasn’t alone and that he could let out all the buried emotions along with the tears that Dean knew Sam wasn’t aware were falling.

“I know you still feel it, Sam, but you’re safe with me in the bunker and we’ll find a way to keep anything like this from happening again,” Dean promised while shooting a warning look toward the angel in the door, giving a shake of his head to signal Castiel not to speak but just to give them privacy. “Just let it out now and we’ll call a do-over in the morning for the chick-flick moment I’m about to give you.”

Sam felt raw, both emotionally and physically, but even as a piece of him said to pull back, to hide it all until he was alone in the shower or in his own room the feel of Dean’s arms, the strength in them as they held him, the feel of strong fingers rubbing slowly against his back before sliding up to grip the back of his neck gave him reassurance that his normally anti-emotion brother was giving him a pass on any snark or grief that Dean might usually toss out to cover a heavily emotional scene between them.

There were things that Sam wanted to tell his brother that he’d relived or that Amara had said as well as what he’d been seeing but right then all he could seem to do was work past the bitter frustration of having his mind raped while power that was nearly impossible to explain had held him down; trapping him and leaving him helpless which was something Sam hated to be.

The steam and heat of the shower room was making Dean light headed but he made no move to release Sam until he felt the hard shudders that shook his brother’s body start to slowly ease up enough that he felt it safe to carefully nudge Sam back enough to take in the wary but exhausted face and knew purging the emotions, the memories and pain that Sam just had had also put his brother on the brink of passing out.

“Okay, strip and take that shower before we waste anymore hot water. I have to go grab something and then I’ll be back to help you to bed,” Dean said with a cough that he hoped covered the emotions he felt but didn’t want to show right then. He left his hand on Sam’s arm a second until he saw a shaky nod and heard a whispered ‘thanks, Dean’ before Sam turned away to finish undressing and shower away the feelings he could still feel on him of Amara’s mental invasion.

Pausing to make sure Sam would be okay for a few minutes Dean stepped out the shower room to get halfway down the hall before having to stop, lean against the wall and fight the bitter urge to either slam his fist into the wall or go find someone to beat the shit out of just to expend the anger he felt right then.

“Go away and leave me alone with him,” he said tightly without even looking up but knowing he wasn’t alone in the hallway. “Go find some way to block his head from having Amara or anyone for that matter touch it or him again, Castiel.”

Castiel had known since meeting the brothers that Dean’s worst temper could be triggered by a threat to Sam so he wasn’t surprised at the tone of voice he heard now or the refusal to heal whatever wounds the younger man might have so he merely stood still until Dean finally looked up at him.

“This isn’t your fault,” he said simply since he also knew the guilt for this attack would be weighing heavily on Dean. “You did all you could and given that she could’ve killed you both you should be grateful that you got Sam’s mind back without more damage than what was done.”

Dean knew that was true but it didn’t help to calm him down, especially when the sounds of vomiting were suddenly heard. “I swore after you healed whatever the hell Lucifer did the last time that no one would ever touch Sam’s mind again much less rip it apart like she just did,” he said while forcing his hands to unclench, blowing out a hard breath. “Sam’s memories aren’t all sunshine and roses, Cas. He’s got memories that I wish he didn’t and having some jealous teenager paw at them, bring them up to the surface and leave him shaking like he is doesn’t make me happy.

“It doesn’t make me happy to know that he’s hurt because of me or that I don’t know if I can protect him from her,” Dean ignored Castiel’s attempts to offer reassurances since the hunter knew the truth. He knew that despite everything they’d faced that this foe didn’t come with any lore to help them know how to fight her and the one person that might know was the one that had locked the Darkness up in the first damn place. “Just…just leave us alone tonight. He needs to sleep and I’m not leaving him alone so go watch more Jenny Jones or…do something…somewhere else.”

Dean knew he might have been a little rude but right then he didn’t care. He stopped by Sam’s room to grab some clothes, detoured into the kitchen to grab a couple bottles of blue Gatorade instead of water and then snagged a chair out of the map room before making his way back to the shower room; not surprised at what he saw upon entering.

Sam had managed to strip out of the rest of his clothes but was just leaning under the still hard spray of the water with one hand flat on the wall while his other was rubbing the front of his head as if battling a headache or the phantom feel of fingers digging into his scalp and into his mind.

He’d lost the battle to keep from puking shortly after stepping under the hot water, feeling it hit the tight muscles in his neck as well as the line of bruises Sam had seen on his back from where Amara’s dark tendrils had held him. It made him sick to know that injuries inflicted on his mind could be seen now on his actual body because then that made the other feelings all the more real to him and his stomach had finally revolted

Once that had stopped and he’d finally been able to climb back to his feet without the fear of falling and cracking his skull open, Sam merely leaned there to let the water hit him while trying to rub away from the feel of her touch on his head and the sound of her voice in his ears.

Sam was so distracted, so lost in the memories that he didn’t hear his brother return until gentle fingers touched his neck and warm lips brushed over his face while Dean’s voice spoke low and soothing from beside him.

“Whatever she said, whatever she told you or did that you haven’t shared with me, it’s time to let it go as much as possible.” Dean said after placing the chair where it would suit his needs for the moment. “Let it go, listen to my voice and let me take care of you now.”

“You always take care of me, Dean. Just once I’d like to be able to say I can do it myself,” Sam wondered if he sounded half as bitter as he thought he had when a reassuring touch to his shoulder told him that he had. “I’m fine. I can manage to shower by myself and get to bed. You can go…huh?” he blinked when he suddenly found himself sitting on a chair that had been placed so the water would only hit his back or head if his head was tilted back…like it was when Dean gently tipped it back from where he stood behind Sam.

“Sammy, you do take care of yourself,” the older Winchester said seriously as he stood looking down into Sam’s eyes to see they were a little too glassy for his liking but chose to overlook that at that moment in order to concentrate on what he wanted to do. “If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have found a way to cure not only yourself but the others in that town of the Darkness’s infection…though I do still want a blow by blow story of that whole mess since you didn’t bother to tell me you’d got infected either time I talked to you.”

It still bothered Dean that his brother had faced being infected, faced the fear of possibly dying, and had kept it to himself rather than tell him because Sam thought what Dean had been doing was more important. He made a silent note to drill it back into Sam’s head soon that nothing was more important to him than Sam.

“So…you want a blow by blow description, huh?” Sam wasn’t sure why his mind instantly went to the gutter with that phrase but before he could try to shrug it off or cover it he heard a low throaty chuckle before Dean leaned over from where he stood behind him to kiss him.

“Yeah, you’re tired,” Dean smirked. “Your brain only goes to gutter mode when you’re really drunk or about to crash. Try to stay awake until I’m done and then we’ll get you to bed.”

“I am awake and what’re you doing besides making me dizzy from looking up at you?” Sam blinked as water hit his face but then it was gone as his head was pushed back upright. “Dean? What’re you doing?” he asked, starting to turn to look only to go still at the feel of his brother’s fingers carding back through his wet hair a second before the sound of a bottle hit the shower floor and Sam realized what was happening. “Dean, I can wash my hair. You don’t have to…umm…damn…”

The moment calloused fingertips touched his scalp to start to massage the shampoo through his hair Sam’s words halted and he shivered.

“Yeah, I know you can and yeah, I do,” Dean replied once he saw that Sam wasn’t going to resist this move like he had thought he might.

Both Winchesters knew this wasn’t the first time that they’d shared a shower or even that Dean had helped Sam wash his hair. Hell, Sam’s first real memory of having his hair washed had come at his older brother’s gentle hands so once he got over the surprise now Sam slowly felt himself starting to relax at the feel of Dean’s fingers lathering the soap while rubbing gently back over his head.

No words were spoken or needed to be right then. Dean merely watched Sam’s face and body slowly relax with each glide of his fingers over his head. He used his body to keep the water off of Sam until he needed it but was then careful when he tipped his brother’s head back to begin to rinse the soap out to not let too much hit or to let any soap run into closed eyes.

Easily shielding Sam’s face with one hand while rinsing thick dark hair of suds with the other reminded Dean of when they’d been younger, when things had been just keeping Sam safe from the usual monsters their Dad had hunted or from keeping father and brother from fighting.

Dean’s plan had been to distract Sam off the feel of Amara’s touch and he was pleased to see that it was working as he felt Sam slowly relaxing more even though he also noticed another part of his brother was starting to take notice of his touch.

“I guess this would also be a good time to say that I could do a really good job with some clippers on this mess of hair if you were interested,” he said with his tongue in his check, seeing one eye pry itself open to shoot him a look like he’d been expecting right before he was also given a rude gesture. “Fine, I’ll take that as a no.”

“If you try to touch my hair I’ll…” Sam started to say only to stop when he opened both of his eyes to look up at his brother when his head was tugged back fully and saw that Dean hadn’t bothered to remove his t-shirt or jeans before entering the shower and now both were wet and skintight. “Umm, forget to undress?” he asked as it slowly began to dawn on him that with each touch of Dean’s fingers over his hair, against his scalp that Sam couldn’t feel Amara or her power.

“No, I didn’t forget. There is a method to my seeming madness, Sammy,” Dean smirked, fingers tightening in Sam’s hair just enough to hold it still while letting the fingertips of his other hand brush lightly over his brother’s forehead to see Sam’s eyes change but this time in desire and not shock. “Can you still feel her, Sam?” he asked while moving to the front now so Sam could look at him without bending his neck back.

With a shake of his head, Sam suddenly knew why Dean had done what he just had and added another thing to the long list of subtle ways his older brother had of showing how he felt without actually speaking the words. “Not like before. It’s still there but not as bad. I…I still feel your touch,” he admitted and then had to swallow hard as Dean came fully into his line of sight after shutting the water off and Sam took in the way the black t-shirt and jeans, now soaking wet, clung to his older brother’s body in a way that soon had Sam forgetting the leftover feelings from Amara’s mental attack. “Is having me watch you peel yourself out of those clothes part of this plan, Dean?” he asked once he found his voice, fingers itching to touch but held back.

“It could be, little brother,” Dean’s lips curved into the slow sexy smile he used when they were alone, stepping just close enough that Sam’s fingertips could brush wet denim as he noticed his brother’s hands weren’t shaking like they had been earlier; taking that as a good sign Dean slowly reached down to finger the bottom of his soaking wet t-shirt in a slow teasing gesture. “How tired and sore do you feel right now, Sammy?”

“If it’s a choice between answering that truthfully and watching you take that shirt off then I feel fine,” Sam replied as he could feel his body responding to the way the black t-shirt was clinging to the lean muscles of Dean’s chest; muscles that very few people actually knew his brother possessed.

There was a twinge of pain in his ribs when he went to stand up only to freeze at the touch of fingertips pressing against his chest to keep him sitting in the chair. “Dean, I’m…” he started to say when lips caught his in a heated kiss that had always taken Sam’s breath away. “…fine.”

“Hmm, guess we’ll have to just see about that, little brother,” Dean murmured into the kiss, tongue teasing and playing over Sam’s lips until with a soft moan they opened to allow him to enter and explore.

From the first time that he’d spied on Dean and one of the many girls he’d dated in High School to when they’d crossed the line that took them from brothers to so much more it had been Dean’s kisses that had always fascinated Sam.

He’d grown up listening to girls gossip in the many schools they’d gone to what kissing Dean Winchester had been like. He’d overheard so many gossip sessions that by the time he’d hit 13 Sam had been tempted to trip a couple of the girls down a flight of steps but he’d held off with the determination that one day he’d work up the guts to see if everything they’d said or implied about his brother had been true.

It had taken Sam three more years of silent dreaming, of wishing, and of praying his older brother wouldn’t hate him if he ever learned how Sam felt before he got his wish and learned that kissing Dean was so much more intense than those girls had even come close to realizing.

Even now after so many years had passed, changed between them the one thing that hadn’t was the way Dean kissing him could affect Sam and the younger Winchester hoped it never did.

“You’re overthinking something. Care to share with the class?” Dean’s deeper than usual voice spoke against Sam’s ear while he slowly moved his lips along the shell to gently tease the earlobe with his teeth. “I usually don’t have to work this hard to keep your attention on me. Should I be worried or insulted?”

“Hmm, no, I was just thinking about how hot your kisses still were and how I hope they never stop turning me on,” Sam replied on a gasp as he felt teeth grazing his jaw, feeling his cock getting harder with each kiss or touch of Dean’s hand over his chest. “Dean…I…really want to see that shirt come off soon.”

Dean chuckled but silently agreed because the wet jeans were now getting a lot more than just uncomfortable so with a quick flip of a mental coin to decide if he wanted to move this to a bedroom or just make out here in the shower room a noise from elsewhere in the bunker made his choice for him.

“Bedroom, Sammy. Now,” he decided while he pulled back to grab a towel that he hurriedly wrapped around Sam’s waist rather than bother with the jeans and t-shirt he’d brought with him. “Then we’ll see about giving you that wish of seeing my shirt and jeans come off.”

The promise of watching Dean remove the wet clothes was all it took for Sam to push any leftover pain aside to focus on making it to one of their bedrooms without either losing the towel or giving into the urge to convince his brother that having sex in the hall would be a good idea.

“And if we had this place to ourselves I might actually take you up on that plan,” Dean said after hearing Sam muttering to himself while trying to tug at his brother’s shirt. “However, since we are not alone you can put that on the bucket list of places that we need to have hot sex and then settle for my room.”

Sam was so distracted by the feel of Dean’s hands cruising over his body, being careful to avoid his sore side, as well as feeling his mouth lick and suck a line down his throat that he hadn’t even known he was talking aloud much less that they’d reached their destination until his back hit Dean’s bed with a surprised laugh. “Hey!”

“Thought you’d want a front row seat for this show,” Dean said while his lips curved into the wickedly sexy smile that could turn still turn heads and melt hearts if he was interested in turning the head of anyone but the younger man currently shaking his hair out of his face after it had fallen into his eyes upon hitting the soft mattress. “Sure you feel okay Sammy?”

“I’d be better if you quit stalling and lose the damn shirt, Dean,” Sam shot back as his patience seemed to have finally reached a limit. He pushed himself up on his elbows after a sharp warning look from Dean told him not to try to move off the bed.

Dean knew Sam was still tired and could tell he was fighting the pain he was still in so he ignored the impatient side that Sam rarely showed unless tired, hurt or pushed to his limit.

He eyed the towel that had somehow managed to stay on Sam despite Dean’s best attempt to pull it off when he’d lightly pushed his brother back onto the bed. The way the towel was damp and tented told Dean that Sam was already half hard from earlier which was another reason for the need he could hear in his brother’s voice.

Dean had kicked his door shut when they’d entered but now he turned back to give the lock a turn before turning back to the bed while reaching for the bottom of his t-shirt. “Other than wanting to see your awesome big brother strip, what else do you want, Sammy?” he asked with a knowing smirk.

“You,” Sam said without pause or without needing to think or without playing. There was never anything else but Dean that Sam wanted when they were alone and intimate like this. “You told her, you’ve said it to me that I’m yours. Well…that means you’re mine too and you’re what I want, Dean. Always.”

“Huh,” Dean grunted, peeling the still wet black t-shirt off over his head in one smooth motion and dropping it to the floor as deep green eyes locked on Sam’s with a slow smile. “You’ve got me then.”

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the one with the explicit content and...some schmoop. :)

**Between a Rock and the Darkness**

**Chapter Three**

“You’ve got me,” Dean Winchester hadn’t been expecting the rush of emotion that hit him at hearing those words from his younger brother and he was quick to cover it with what he hoped was his usual smirk, fingers reaching for the zipper on his jeans since he’d already dealt with the button but still made no move to shed them as he knelt on the bed and reached out to let his hand rest of Sam’s face. “You’ve had me since the day you were born, baby boy.”

Sam had been distracted by the way the muscles moved on Dean’s stomach as he moved as well as by the deep intensity of his brother’s eyes when they locked with him as he knelt on the bed beside him. However it was the way Dean’s hand tenderly touched his face that had him refocusing and then feeling a lump form in his throat when Dean spoke.

It was rare for his brother to open himself to, much less share the heavier and deeper emotions like Sam often felt but held off from speaking out of fear of making Dean pull away. This time when Sam had spoken earlier it had been because the reply had come out before his common sense could win out.

He knew there’d been other times when Dean would go all snarky or defensive if things got too emotional between them so when he’d spoken about wanting Dean, Sam had silently hoped he hadn’t ruined what was happening between them.

Now it was his turn to try to find his voice as the deeper, huskier tone of voice he heard along with the warm touch took his off guard as normally Dean didn’t do this until the end or when he thought Sam was half asleep.

Sam was almost tempted to speak in Latin just to double check he hadn’t missed something and somehow his brother had been possessed despite the tattoo that he could so clearly see unmarred on Dean’s chest.

“I swear that if one word of Latin comes out of your mouth right now not only will you be washing my car for the next year but I will sit you in front of the laptop to explain gay porn to Castiel with that one vibrator in your ass,” Dean’s voice was still low when it spoke, lips brushing a warm kiss over Sam’s ear but the warning was also clear as he’d caught the way Sam’s eyes had gone to his tattoo.

“I’m me, Sammy. I will be calling a do-over for all this chick flick stuff in the morning but right now…” he drew off to give a gentle push to Sam’s chest to take his brother back flat on the bed before leaning closer to catch Sam’s bottom lip between his teeth, teasing it lightly until he got the soft moan that Dean was after. “Let me take care of you.”

Sam groaned both at the whiskey coated sex tone he heard and the touch of skilled hands roaming his body as Dean kicked off his boots, undid the zipper to give himself some relief before stretching out beside his brother on the soft memory foam mattress. “Dean…need…fuck!” he felt his hips thrust up as Dean’s fingers closed over his cock to begin to slowly stroke him. “Dean…no. Don’t want to come like that. I want…”

“I know what you want, Sammy,” Dean knew that Sam always preferred climaxing together but a single look at how hard and angry looking the weeping cock already seemed told him that his brother wouldn’t last too much longer. “The rule of letting me take care of you tonight is…let me do what I feel is right for you,” he leaned up to offer softer kisses to Sam’s face before finally drawing his bottom lip into his mouth to suck on it until feeling Sam’s body relaxing back onto the bed. “No lip, no attitude. Trust me and we’ll both get what we want before you crash for the night. Trust me, little brother?”

“Always,” Sam groaned while turning his face more so this time when Dean kissed him it was deeper, more intense; the type of kiss that Sam knew would never stop causing his blood to heat or his heart jump. “Dean? What’re you…oh God,” he’d started to ask when his brother began to slowly kiss his way down his body, starting from his mouth and going down with light kisses, soft bites and teasing licks.

Dean took his time moving down. He especially made sure to pay special attention to the sensitive little nubs on his brother’s chest that were already hard, rolling each with his tongue and hearing Sam’s voice muttering in what Dean what certain was Latin.

“Remind me to have you translate that sometime, little brother,” he chuckled when Sam’s next response was more of what Dean would expect since it was also combined with a matching gesture; both of which told the hunter that Sam’s patience was as strained as his body seemed to be. “Okay, so let me explain what’s happening here in case you haven’t caught on,” Dean paused once he’d slid down low enough that he was between Sam’s long legs.

Dean noticed that while Sam’s eyes were locked on him that the hazel color had turned to mainly black as passion and desire took hold and the older brother knew he could use that distraction for what he was planning next.

“You are wound way too tight right now. You would come the second I even tried to touch you so…” he let his body go a little lower while keeping his one hand out of Sam’s sight for the moment as he held his brother’s gaze with a slow and sexy smile. “We will make love. I will give you everything you want but first…I’m going to suck you off while opening you to take me.

“You are going to come and once you have…I’m going to make you hard all over again, baby boy,” Dean let his tone drop to the whiskey coated sex and sin one that he knew drove his brother crazy just to see Sam’s eyes go even darker while Sam’s dripping cock began a steadier stream of precome at the promise of what Dean had planned. “Just relax and trust me, Sammy.”

Trusting Dean had never been a problem for Sam. He’d trusted his older brother for as long as Sam could remember. Sam understood why Dean was doing this because a piece of him knew in the back of his head that his brother would not do anything without at least some prep or stretching.

There’d been times in the years past where both Winchesters had been at the end of their rope as far as need went and still Dean had gritted his teeth while stretching Sam as quickly but as carefully as he could.

It had annoyed Sam to no end at times how determined Dean was to not hurt him during sex. Even on nights when their sex went a little more kinky than normal and they pushed each other for more his brother had a line that Dean refused to cross.

“‘ _If you ever want to stop, or the pain goes too far or I do, then you damn well better either say that damn safe word or drop whatever you’re holding to stop the scene. I will kick your ass if you don’t because while you keep saying I don’t have to treat you with kid gloves, we both know there’s more to what’s between us now and what’s between us means either as brother or lover I will not hurt you_.’” Dean had said the one time when Sam had pouted a little too much at his brother’s insistence of having rules in place but those rules also made Sam know he was safe to let his guard down as well.

Right then all he was focusing on was watching the way Dean looked as he slipped the head of Sam’s cock past his lips and slowly, annoyingly slow in Sam’s mind, began to suck on just the head while the fingers of his left hand wrapped around the rest to begin to stroke it.

“Fuck, you look so damn hot when you do that,” Sam rarely cursed but knew if he did it was usually during sex with Dean because while the whole act was hot as hell, it was hotter to watch Dean give him that cocky half smirk while sucking him off.

Distracted from watching Dean begin to suck a little harder by hollowing his cheeks, Sam’s fingers were digging into the comforter to avoid reaching for his brother with a blind hope of urging him to go faster. He was so distracted that Sam didn’t immediately realize where Dean’s other hand had slipped to until he felt a gentle brush of a fingertip against the puckered hole of his ass.

“Shit!” he gasped, head dropping back to the pillow while his hips thrust up before he could stop himself but was quick to try to settle down when he felt Dean stop all movement as if giving Sam time to adjust to the first touch of a finger against his rim.

Earlier Dean had used the lube he’d pulled from the nightstand drawer to coat his fingers so it would be easier to stretch Sam. He was hoping since it hadn’t been that long since that fooled around that it wouldn’t take too long. Dean had his doubts if either of them had too much patience left right then.

The moment Sam moved at the surprise feel of his finger Dean went still, eyes lifting to watch his brother’s face since that was still, especially during sex, the easiest way to gauge Sam’s emotions or feelings.

If Dean ever wanted to set himself up for the mother of all chick flick moments he could tell his brother that while watching him during the act was hot, it was usually before they made love and then after, when Sam’s face was open more, that Dean loved most of all. He enjoyed watching Sam’s face, his eyes, show the emotions that too many years of crap and pain had taught his brother to hide.

Dean watched until Sam’s eyes slowly made their way back down to his at the same time as his brother, on instinct, moved his legs apart more while pulling them back to allow Dean better access.

“Two fingers will be plenty, dude,” Sam said tightly only to laugh at the look that earned him. Then he was too busy fighting his body’s need to move as his brother’s mouth began to suck him harder, deeper while the fingers on his cock slid back to find and gently tease his swelling balls. “Dean…I’m gonna…oh my God. You…that… damn.”

From the moment Sam was 17 and watched his brother deep throat him the first time it still managed to make his blood heat, and his eyes go wide. However what always managed to bring him over the edge during one of Dean’s blow jobs was the feel of Dean’s mouth and tongue going all the way down and then back up to tongue over the slit in the head of his cock at the same time as his brother’s finger, now able to move a little easier in his ass, hit that spot inside Sam that made him see stars.

Sam cried out at the same time as he felt his balls tighten a second before he climaxed hard and fast. He had a brief thought of trying to warn Dean but knew when he felt him slid back until just the head was locked between his lips and he felt that teasing little brush over his slit that his brother knew what was coming.

Dean had worked to keep Sam distracted with the blow job while slowly feeling his single finger slip past the first ring of muscle. Once he felt that, he began to quicken the pace as he could hear the strain in Sam’s voice as he struggled not to move either up against Dean’s mouth or back onto his finger.

The moment he felt his finger finally able to move without restriction was when Dean pulled back to the head. He could taste the now steady stream of precome on his tongue so knew from experience that it wouldn’t take much to bring Sam over.

Feeling Sam’s fingers once again moving through his shorter hair, Dean moved his fingers up to find that one spot deep inside his brother that he knew would get a reaction at the same time as he moved the tip of his tongue over the slit in the head of the cock that he was now sucking deeply.

Dean felt Sam’s body shudder at the same time as he felt his balls tighten. He gave another teasing lick and then knew what to expect so he was prepared when Sam cried out and climaxed; hot come filling Dean’s mouth as he chose to stay rather than move like he did sometimes.

Swallowing wasn’t something Dean did often or it wasn’t the few times in his youth when he’d given a guy or two a blow job for fast cash but he found that with Sam it was something he actually didn’t mind doing. He wasn’t sure what it was but where it used to gross him out it was different with Sam.

At the first touch and taste of the sweet and salty flavor hitting his tongue, Dean heard his own groan matching Sam’s and worked on helping Sam milk this climax for everything it had while slipping a second finger up inside Sam’s ass to begin to slowly scissor them.

Sam rode the wave of his orgasm until he felt his body going lax on the bed with a sigh of pleasure as well as Dean’s name. He could feel his brother’s touch on his cock become lighter a moment before Dean pulled off with a wet pop as if sensing that Sam might be getting over sensitized to touch.

“Dean…I’m…mmhm…” Sam’s mumbled words cut off with a moan as Dean moved up enough that he could kiss his brother deeply while still keeping his two fingers moving, stretching Sam’s inner muscles enough that he thought Sam could take him without hurting himself.

Tasting himself on Dean’s lips had Sam shivering as he opened his own lips to allow his brother entry to explore and play while trying to regain enough strength to pry his eyes open. When Sam was finally able to, he could see all but a thin ring of green in his brother’s eyes; something that told him how ready Dean was for more.

Sam felt tired, his body sated for the moment but the more they kissed, the more he felt his brother’s fingers moving in his ass, stretching his muscles and brushing his prostate as well as feeling still damp denim rubbing along his thigh and the young hunter knew it wouldn’t be too long before his body started to respond.

“Dean…want to…want to feel you,” he muttered, feeling Dean’s tongue teasing along his mouth before starting to play with Sam’s. “Please. I’m…I’m stretched enough.”

“Not nearly,” Dean returned while letting his mouth slid down to nuzzle the spot just under Sam’s ear because he knew it was one of many spots his brother had that he was sensitive. “But…just this once…I think I’ll give you your way and we’ll give it a go,” he lifted his eyes to offer a sharp look that told Sam not to push his luck when he went on. “If it hurts, if you have more pain than you should after a few minutes then I’d better be hearing you say it. Got it?”

“Got it,” Sam wasn’t foolish. He might want to feel Dean, he might want to feel Dean climax inside him but he knew better than to lie to his brother if there was any pain or if he thought they needed to slow down or stop. “Gonna lose those jeans now?”

“Maybe, if my pain in the ass little brother asks me nicely I might,” Dean smirked but was already sliding off the bed after sharing a deep kiss. He watched the way Sam’s eyes followed him as he stood just beside the bed but out of Sam’s reach to slowly begin to skim the jeans down his legs. “This what you wanted, Sammy?” he asked teasingly, kneeling back on the bed and let long fingers touch him. “Touch me, Sam.”

No matter how long it had been since they crossed those lines, there were still times especially lately that Sam felt uneasy touching Dean unless told to. He wasn’t sure where the unease came from as Dean had never once told him not to touch him except for one time during a really dark time between them and he thought when he’d been soulless…

Sam’s fingers went still where they’d been gliding down his brother’s chest to a rock hard abdomen as a brief flash of memory hit him. His hand started to pull back with a tight frown only to feel strong fingers catching it and holding it flat against warm skin.

“Look up at me, Sam,” Dean had been watching Sam and saw the change that came over his brother the second it happened.

Dean suspected that Amara’s threat to take Sam’s soul had affected Sam a lot more than he’d admitted right off so when he had to actively encourage Sam to touch him, something that he hadn’t had to do in a long time, he guessed what his brother had just flashed on.

Pressing Sam’s tense hand flat against his chest, Dean was quick to move his other hand to curve his fingers around the side of his brother’s neck; tugging gently until Sam sat up and allowed himself to be pulled closer as Dean moved to straddle his legs.

“Unless we start out with rules saying you can’t touch me unless I tell you to then you know that you can, that I want you to,” he said while slipping his fingers around to the back of Sam’s neck and giving a gentle squeeze that soon had some of the tension leaving his brother’s face and a smile starting to form. “Whatever the hell the brat from hell or…wherever showed you or said to you, let it go because no one is touching your soul,” Dean held Sam’s eyes for a moment until he saw a slow nod of understanding and felt the fingers under his start to move again. “Hell, no one touches you to begin with unless they want to lose a lung or other vital organ.”

That had been the #1 hard and fast rule of Dean Winchester ever since he could remember and he had sent more than a few playground bullies or drunken assholes running because of it.

It also, while making Sam roll his eyes or give the standard reply that he could take care of himself, made the younger Winchester relax fully into Dean’s arms as slow kisses were shared, hands explored each other’s bodies and soon Sam could feel his cock starting to show an interest again.

By the time they were both breathless and wanting more, Dean could tell that Sam was ready to go again while he was hoping he could maintain control enough to still give Sam as much as he could.

“Dean…” Sam’s body arched when he felt teeth graze along the line of his jaw after he was laid back on the bed. He heard a low grunt which from years of doing this told him that his brother was more than ready for that plan as well but when Sam went to move, to roll to his stomach he went totally still when a soft kiss was laid over his heart.

“Stay where you are,” Dean’s voice was low, deep from both the battle to control the need to take right away as well as emotions that were still difficult for him to express even to his brother.

Sam relaxed more while watching Dean sit up fully to kneel on the bed, hands running down Sam’s legs before giving a little nudge; a way to tell his brother what to do.

“You sure you don’t want me to roll over or get on my knees?” Sam asked while pulling his legs back toward him to hold them while his brother’s fingers had slipped back to be sure he was still open enough to take Dean’s very angry looking cock. “Usually we don’t do this with me on my back unless…”

“I want to watch you as you come on my cock, Sam. I want to see your face as we make love,” Dean said in explanation; happy to feel that he could still move both fingers and nearly a third without too much tightness he reached for the bottle of lube again to quickly coat his already well slicked cock before reaching for Sam. “Plus, with your side and ribs hurting, there’s no way in hell I’d put you on your knees. If this position hurts, tell me.”

“I’m not a girl, Dean,” Sam gave the typical response when he felt his brother was being too careful with him and expected the same snarky response back that he usually got. The response that came floored him.

Nope, you aren’t,” Dean admitted as he eased close enough, hands shifting Sam a little into a better position to allow his head of his weeping cock to slip past the rim of Sam’s ass; pausing at the first sign of tension in tight, hot inner muscles.

Keeping one hand on Sam’s thigh, Dean moved his other up to catch the hand Sam moved on instinct toward him. He took a deep breath while deciding he’d blame too much damn emotion and the need to see his brother smile for what he did next as he pressed their joined hands to his lips before speaking again.

“You’re mine, Sammy. You’re brother, lover, best friend and partner. You were the first thing I would look for when I woke up when you were a baby. You were the first thing I checked on every morning after the fire, every day after school before you started and if it’s at all in my power to do so you will be the last goddamn thing I see before I ever buy it,” Dean heard his voice break just enough that he knew he had to pull back from this before every single buried emotion inside him broke loose. “Mine, baby boy.”

If Sam hadn’t already been on a tight wire of emotions he figured that unexpected little speech probably would’ve had him breaking down right there. As it were he had to make himself not stare at his brother or try to exorcise him when he felt Dean using his slight shock to give a roll of his hips.

“Yours,” Sam agreed with a soft gasp at the feel of his body stretching more to allow Dean’s to slowly, with each gentle thrust, come flush with Sam. “You sure I shouldn’t try some Latin on you?” he asked with a small grin as if trying to keep the mood from going too heavy and risk Dean backing off.

“Not unless you want to be explaining gay porn to an angel,” he shot back but felt some of the heavy emotion that had been settling in the room lift and knew that had been Sam’s intent. “Sammy, I can’t promise how long I can draw this out.” Dean was fighting the urge to finish this right then but wanted to give his brother more time to enjoy the sex.

Sam’s hips had found a rhythm to move in that matched Dean’s thrusts. It felt tighter, more intense this way but he’d never complain about the feeling of Dean’s cock sliding into him each time one of them moved. The moment that he felt his brother hit his prostate nearly had Sam coming right then but managed to hold back for another moment.

Dean had been watching Sam’s face with each thrust of his hips; each time he made sure to hit that spot inside that soon had his younger brother’s already leaking cock grow fully hard. He knew he was nearly at the end of his rope and guessed that it wouldn’t take Sam much more to hit that point when he shifted forward enough, balancing his weight on his arms while catching Sam’s slightly parted bottom lip between his teeth to draw on it gently and heard a moan of want.

“Like this, baby boy?” he asked tightly, arms shaking from the strain of balancing his weight while still making sure when he moved that he hit Sam’s prostate.

“Yes! God, yes!” Sam groaned, fighting the urge to rush Dean but when his mouth was caught in a deep, intense kiss at the same time as strong fingers were felt wrapping around his cock it was all he could do not to come right then. “Dean! Please…need to…”

Watching Sam’s flushed face, the way his hazel eyes were almost fully dark with need and desire and feeling at the way Sam tried to pull him back down to kiss him again, Dean realized it was time to give them both what they wanted.

It amazed the older Winchester the way Sam restrained his clearly burning need to climax but then with a thought, Dean smiled slowly and with the one smile that only Sam could bring out. “Come for me, Sammy,” he said roughly, quickening his thrusts when he felt how close Sam was getting to the edge. “Come, now.”

Sam had a brief thought to resist, to hold back another second, but just as he thought that he felt a fingertip brush down the sensitive nerve on the underside of his cock and lost it with a shout of his brother’s name. “ _Dean_!”

“That’s my boy,” Dean’s lips curved into a slow smile; giving his hips another solid thrust while working his hand along the length of Sam’s cock to help milk his brother’s orgasm as much as he could. He waited as long as possible before giving himself over to his own climax and finally coming hard and fast with a moan of the only name that Dean had ever called out during sex. “Sammy.”

Sam felt the sudden hard jerk of Dean’s body and then felt the warmth filling him. He arched up one more time at the feeling of his brother’s come filling him and knew he would never lose the enjoyment of feeling that or of watching the way his ever on guard brother’s defenses went down when he climaxed like this.

Sam loved to watch the way Dean’s rugged face, usually hard and guarded, relax. He loved seeing the way Dean lost some of his edginess and almost looked as young and without all the cares he’d been carrying the last 10 years or so…not that he’d ever say that aloud.

He did slowly reach a shaking hand up to lightly touch Dean’s face with his fingertips and met the loving smile that was aimed down at him as Dean’s hips continued to thrust to ride out his own orgasm.

The next few moments in the bedroom were silent with only the sounds of soft moans, grunts of pleasure, the sound of flesh meeting flesh as both men worked their way to the end of their mutual climaxes.

Sam felt his body go limp on the bed at the same time as he felt Dean lean down closer to kiss him tenderly, tongue licking over his lips.

“Love you, Sammy,” Dean whispered against his ear and only starting to pull out once he’d heard a murmured reply but then felt Sam’s arms try to wrap around him as if wanting to hold onto him, to keep him in place. “Shh, not gonna leave you, Sam. Just let me grab something to wipe us off with or else you’ll be explaining something else to Castiel,” he chuckled while gently easing out of Sam but didn’t immediately move away from his brother until he felt Sam relax again.

Dean reached down to grab the towel that Sam had worn from the shower room to quickly wipe them both clean of come and sweat. He planned on talking his brother into a shower once they woke up but right then he tossed the towel in favor of stretching out on the bed and feeling Sam immediately turn into his arms.

It went against every rule Dean had to cuddle but he usually put this in the same category as he did everything else that involved his brother: he’d allow it but would hurt Sam if he ever mentioned it the next day.

“Dean?” Sam’s voice was sleepy, his eyes heavy with sleep and a well sexed out mind and body but he tried to pry an eye open to look at his brother. “Can we defeat her?” he asked quietly, worry and uncertainty plain.

“Yeah, we will, Sam,” Dean wasn’t certain how yet much less how he’d fully battle whatever the hell link seemed to be there between him and Amara but as he held Sam closer, as he let his fingers card back through his brother’s hair to watch his too large, too sleepy eyes stare at him in a way that Sam hadn’t in years. “We will lock her ass back up. I will not allow her to touch you to hurt you like she did this time and this time when we save the world we’re going back to our roots.”

It had been a long time since Dean had seemed to want to broach their past or what had always been the family motto. Back in that hospital, Sam had tried to make his brother see the error of some of what they’d been doing but he hadn’t been sure Dean was willing to try that path again.

“Saving people, hunting things…” he murmured sleepily when he heard a low chuckle as an arm wrapped around his shoulders to bring him closer to Dean’s side.

“The family business, little brother,” Dean wasn’t sure if he could go back to those easier times but for Sam, for the sake of everything they’d done and sacrificed, he’d try his best. “You, me, the Impala. On the road, in cheap hotels with gawdy wallpaper and bad food.”

“Home,” Sam whispered as sleep started to take him under; opening his eyes again when he felt a finger lift his face and met the kiss that came with a sigh. “The Impala and you are still what I consider as home, De’n,” he yawned, quickly losing the battle to stay awake.

Dean paused to swallow the lump in his throat after hearing that but slowly nodded. “Yeah, Sammy. The bunker’s good but you’re right. Baby’s home to us and she always will be,” he let Sam find the spot between his neck and shoulder that he always preferred when they slept together and only once he felt his brother’s body go limp fully into sleep did Dean let his own eyes close.

He knew they had things to handle, to talk about and deal with but for that moment all he was concerned with was the younger man currently in his arms and what he would do to keep Amara the hell away from his brother.

“Mine,” he whispered to the room while tightening his arms and drifting off to sleep fully for the first time in weeks; confident that they were both safe for the moment and Dean was determined to keep it that way.

**The End**


End file.
